Il Ham Mai Hum

Saturday, November 24, 2007

I don't know what I've deserved to have the friends that i have now.

Every single day, i wonder. Did i do something good, did i pray an extra little? To deserve such wonderful people to be called as friends.

Every single day i'll be afraid of eventually doing something that will drive them away. Or to accumulate a certain large number of sins to signify the vanishing of the company of those wonderful people.

I feel inferior to this feeling. I know that I'm not the most easiest person to get along with. With my big mouth, tendency to get carried away during crazy times and my problem of not keeping my comments to myself.

But well. You do not explain why good things happen. You accept, bersyukur and pray for more.

And yes, thats what I'll do. =)

I went out with diyana(nenek), fadlul and syaf/shafiqa(h) (i dont really know how to spell her name as she was nenek's friend). It was a real splendid after-eve-night session of lepak, talk, and dslr-ing (camwhoring is so yesterday) right in the middle of singapore. Well more to the south middle but you get my drift yea. With them, it feels as though my problems just, vanished, vapourised, disappeared into thin air. Who needs drugs, booze and smokes when you have wonderful people at your company. To go crazy with. To be crazy with. But after all this, I wonder, how does it feel like to be someone without them but who deserves to have them. Alone in this deep dark unforgiving world. I'll stop short there. And pray that i won't have to be part of them. And maybe, to be their friend someday. Insyaallah.

I've taken to liking Albert Hammond Jr songs suddenly. Pictures will be uploaded as soon as i get them.

It's 8.34 am. I've got to be in school by ten. Today is ultimate script writing day. So aisha, fadlul, kaye, amin, LETS make it HAPPEN. Lets put on such a good show until the alumni watching would think that their batch SUCKS compared to ours. Ours; we're not just year 1 batch, year 2 batch and year 3 batch. We're NYP Stage Arts Drama. And there's no boundaries to that. =)

I know that this is a long post so thank you so much for reading if you've already come across this sentence.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night. Well approximately 4+am as i slept at 1 +. And suddenly this poem popped into my head. And thanks to what Diyana (nenek!) said, i had my handphone ready faster than you could say 'Super Hot' to type and save this:

We're all searching

Hey new friend.

Looking at you makes me reminiscent,

of my was and previous.

Yes you do get that a lot

and i may not know how it feels.

But you do remind me of something I long for.

Something I miss.

Something that I'm...searching for.

So lets hope that you've found it.

In your current.

Alas if it weren't, just view it,

as our search goes on.

for our is and will always be.

=)

ilham26 @ 8:23 am
Crawls around your room
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I love you for reading my nonsense. Okay you can stop smiling now.