Il Ham Mai Hum

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I miss the old us.

Fadlul, Fishball, Kenneth and Me.

Just chillin out at the BP starbucks or any other random place around cck.

Buying ramlee burgers on impulse, crashing fishball's house.

Your mom's samosa.

And when you guys came with me to buy my very first guitar...

=(.

Baatches, you guys are great and all.

And i love you all just as much.

But after watching People...

That was My Time...Our Time...so called.

I think i really should stop dwelling in the past.

But how do you do that if half of the closest people to you when you were just this fresh face, left...abruptly.

So far, things have not and will never be the same again.

Though, on the contrary, they're just as enjoyable.

But sometimes you've got to...

Just let go.

We should've savored every moment last time.

And maybe, i should start savouring every moment...now.

Wake up and smell the flowers ham, 2007 was so yesteryear.

ilham26 @ 1:23 am
Crawls around your room
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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Do you want to go to the seaside?
Not trying to say that everybody wants to go.
But i dont like the seaside.
Because, i fell in love with the stage.

Honestly, i have no words to describe yesterday.
Only for it being a blast. Really.
Everyone did a splendid job.

Oh i miss the tfa already.
The smell, the sights, the sounds, the feel.
Everything.

Till december tfa, insyaallah.
But lets savour the moment of a successful production =).

Pics and vids will be up soon.
Ive only got a handful...

Girls are always shy around me. I dont know why. HAHAHAHHAHAHHA

REPENT! BITCHEZ!

SYIDDDAAAAAAAH

Thats one divine pose yo.

RAB RAB.! (im like so taller than you la!)

Kenneth...is always horny.

People the Sequel.

Danz inc ladies!

The Tabung Amal.

The Arabian Camel Timon Princess.

DAAAVIIIDDD.

Dont be jealous hanaffi!

ZOMG.

Omg even with the old make up on, my mom looks so much older than me. HAHAHHA!

Two of the most lovely ladies i know!

ERM.

FISHBALLL!!!!!

The old guard =(.

WE SEE HOT GIRL! (no fishy not you lol)

IS THAT YANA SEXY!? eh no. hahaha. though i dont know whos that to my right la.

They took my cam to camwhore. pfft.

Kecohrable

Erm yeah okay.

Yeap. Who took this pic must have real sucky photo taking skillz.

ilham26 @ 1:20 am
Crawls around your room
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My younger brother is a piece of useless garbage thrash bugger who leeches off my parents and returns absolutely nothing but grief and anger to them.

LIKE SERIOUSLY LA.

On one hand, I'm trying not to say so much because Allah did give him to us, my family, and we have to be thankful, whatever the situation is.

On the other hand. LIKE WHAT THE HELL. I've never seen someone be so damn fucking lazy.

And yet he can keep stuffing his face at every minute of the day.

And he could still complain of not being appreciated, sick and tired of home bla bla bla.

Eh wake up la asshole.

Honestly, i thought that he would change after getting beaten up but NO.

Worse, much worse.

I've given up, really. People like this don't deserve to be helped. Honestly.

And he said he's bored of school. Just wait when you come out from that protective shell of secondary education. Then hah, welcome to the real world.

Wakeup from your cholesterol clogged mindset la Izdi.

To family and friends reading this. Please don't go saying that i'm very harsh, i'm very mean bla bla bla.
If you feel that way, you are more than welcome to come and stay with him. PLEASE. Then you will know.

Im just fucking sick and tired of his fucked up behaviour.

ilham26 @ 11:57 pm
Crawls around your room
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Production Production Production.
Oh the sweet smelling air of the theater.
Brings back bittersweet memories of past.

Bittersweet.
Bitter because it wasn't last year.
Sweet because I'm still here.

A very different perspective this time.
For during the previous time, i was up on stage,
waiting for instructions, moving into the lights.
Waiting to unleash the built up momentum of real-life re-enactments.

But this time, watching, waiting.
From the darkness of the back.
Behind the curtains, away from the lights.
Away from the carpeted flooring of the sacred medium that separates.

Oh how i miss that. Really.
And it's kinda sad to see some of them not being so happy.
Minute roles.
I do understand, it isn't really the best cup of tea.
But nonetheless, its still a cup of tea, a bite of the cherry, a minute on stage.

A minute on stage.
Thats all it takes for you to long for more.
A minute on stage.

And on this coming friday.
Insyaallah, i'll have that minute, my minute or two.
And boy, I can't wait for it.

ilham26 @ 8:36 am
Crawls around your room
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

I long for you you know.
Hah, funny, with all the 'I don't really need this now' talk.
But its these moments you see..
these moments that leaves me feeling empty.

I bet you don't know who you are.
I've mentioned about you before.
Doubt that you would've read.
Even so, you wouldn't have known.

Honestly, i don't know much about you,
and without doubt, neither do you about me.
But theres this sixth sense in us you see.
That tells us with whom that you want to be.

The situation's a bit, unrealistic.
Virtual, but not impossible.
With only a probable probability,
Probably.

Still, every time i read up on your endeavors,
through that medium of yours.
Or when i catch a glimpse, or deep stare
of your portrait, digitalized, on air.

I wish, I hope, I pray.
That I'd be yours someday...

ilham26 @ 11:39 pm
Crawls around your room
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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Sometimes i think im way too straight forward in advice and such.

But is that what people want?

I'm in no way in support of comfy pillows of comfort that offer very vague facts of what the seeker seeks for.

I mean, you did want advice in the first place, no?

If you wanted comfort, you could've asked for that.

Okay this is not directed at anyone la, im just being totally random.

ITS RANDOM PICTURE TIME!

My eyes are so opposite sepet. RAB RAB DANCE RAB!

Thats Sheila EAT MY SHIT.

Erm. LOL

Pregnant slut

FREAKING DEAD FLY IN THE STORE FREEZER YO!

I'm Err-sell-la. The evil sea witch.

AND THATS SHAHRUM SLEEPING WITH HIS EYEZ OPENZ.

Uncanny resemblance?

Yum yum.

Hair done by Andy & Weave.

Green-ing Geckos.

Pregnant arab.

Meow meow.

Quack Quack.

Postbox. The Beginning. HAHA

SEXY HOT PANTS!

Old School Mat Jiwangz.

The Ex Chronicles : Burger Face.

Erm yeah faces.

SMILING TUDUNG.

The Ex Chronicles : In my jacket.

For someone, I do care, but you can act really well.

And we all feel oppressed.

ilham26 @ 10:59 pm
Crawls around your room
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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Ive reached the limit see.
And i mean really, i just can't go on.
Despite the words, encouragement, or different.

I just can't see myself doing this anymore.
No matter what i've tried to keep myself sane.
Sane on this path.

Really, i feel like a very square peg in an extremely round hole.
Like postbox in a death metal gig.
Like a dumb blonde in Einstien's book club.
Like me in IT.

I miss the days of long English essays.
The dissection of literature books.
The sharp and smooth flow of emotional verbalization of a story.
When the ideas kept flowing in,
when theres no black, no white.
No Yes, no No.
Just maybe, just gray, just...

What can i do now. 1 and a half years gone.
A potential 2 years wasted.
A potential 3 years wasted.
My potential, always wasted.

Change? Transfer?
Quit, work and start over?
Seems very easy in theory.
And on paper.
But nothings ever easy nowadays.

Oh Allah, the one true God.
King of kings, ruler of the earth.
Decider of our fate.
Show me the way please.
For I am desperate.
To find a way out,
of this miserable state.
To break down this wall,
that would not break.
For the course that I am in now,
I really do hate...

ilham26 @ 11:41 pm
Crawls around your room
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I love you for reading my nonsense. Okay you can stop smiling now.