Il Ham Mai Hum

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Something that was promised.
To not be done.
To back off, run away or to ignore.
But the whispers, the whispers, the whispers.
I remembered. But did i fear?
I recalled. But did i fear?
I reminded. But did i fear?

Did i fear?

Whispers to the mind.
The mind to the heart.
The heart to the brain.
The brain to the hands.

I seek forgiveness, refuge, repentance.

It may seem small, in this society.
But what is this society?
Only minute in the whole game plan.
And we all know who's the best of planners.
It's only for awhile. It's only for awhile. It's only just this while.

I plead for acceptance.
For it won't be repeated.
By your will and your will alone.
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This is a story about three creatures.
No animals were harmed in the making of this story. (Not counting the pig giving birth. Twice)

Penguin went out with the pig and the camel.
The Penguin, The Pig and The Camel.
Looking for a pig sty.
Penguin thinks camel is cool.
Penguin thinks pig looks great in the pig sty.
Pig went to the toilet twice. -___-
Penguin loves eating kentuky fried chicken (oh the irony).
Penguin is afraid that camel would think that penguin is gay, deep down. haha.
Penguin wants pig to stop laughing when pig reads sentence above.
Penguin hopes to see how pig would look like on thursday.
Penguin hopes pig would really enjoy it and would finally attract a boar so pig wont complain
to penguin anymore about wanting a boar.
Penguin is kind of ticked that pig told camel that pig was kind of ticked with penguin this morning when penguin didn't know what penguin did wrong.
Penguin is not gay.
Stupid pig.
Penguin...misses having another penguin.
Such different creatures we are eyy?
Sally the camel has 1436 humps.
Insyallah itll be answered.

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ALALALAAAA SAYANG SAYANG DING DING NYER NYER NYERRR ALAAAA

Curiosity killed the cat. Kesian.

Radar radar.

ilham26 @ 12:39 am
Crawls around your room
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Monday, November 24, 2008

Just now when i was just about to alight from the mrt at jurong east station,
as usual, a crowd would form right outside the door, led by this apek.
When the doors opened, the guy infront of me just rushed out and crashed into the apek full on.
(apek was right infront of the door)
Yes it was so obvious that he did it on purpose.
The apek spun around in 360 degrees and looked both shocked, surprised and annoyed.

My thoughts?

YOU DESERVE IT HAHA.

I tried so hard to not laugh my ass off.
Fucking apek deserved it. He shouldve fell onto the ground. Maybe id give him an accidentally on purpose leg nudge.
Assholes like him deserves all the shit they get.
KUDOS TO GUY WHO CRASHED INTO APEK!
heeeee =)).

Ive decided. After this week i'll take my basic theory test! YES YES GET THEM BALLZ ROLLINGZ YES.

I was just informed that my close friend's boy friend knows and recognises me.
WHOA SHIT. People that i dont know, knows me??? whooaaa.
I remember foxmen. haha.

Well okay. Pheeg's coming back tmr night InsyaAllah.
InsyaAllah her holiday went alright and no harm befell on her.
And that maybe she did get my hot sexy nude lady from the nude beach over there. (HAHA YEAH RIGHT).

Heres a couple of snaps from the outing the other day. YES IT WAS SUCH A LONG TIME AGO SHUT UP.

Fad looks like Sarip Dol.

HAHHAA MUKA KONZ THE SEQUEL.

Wow those crackers are as round as me i guess...

Muck Err Corn Neck.

This pic reminds me of Abang Mamat. HAHA

Ah mariah! Finally of all pics, you showed your natural face =)

ilham26 @ 11:11 pm
Crawls around your room
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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Its 11.24.

All the chatter has ceased.

Funny, that last few sentences, stirred up deep sleeping thoughts.
No no, we had our chance.

Sigh, why are you going through this again.

You're just a sad sad lonely person.

Who's dependent...unfortunately..
very...dependent...

You miss me?.

ilham26 @ 11:23 pm
Crawls around your room
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You'd never know how much you miss someone until they're gone.

Well not gone-dead (na'uzubillah min zalik) no no.
But gone as in not on the island, network coverage.
Hah.

I feel as if there's a vacuum in me these days.
No i'm not referring to person mentioned above.
But in general.

Suck it up i tell me.
Its always a battle in my head.

I miss my friends, that's definite.
But i miss friend.

I miss the whole process.
Have never really continued pass the end stage.
It always ends after the end stage.
Wah sehhh.

Suck it up suck it up suck it up.

I want to get to know new people.

ilham26 @ 7:54 pm
Crawls around your room
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Friday, November 21, 2008

Wahhh im such a loser.

Im stuck at home alone on a friday night.

Wahhhh im such a loser.

Wahhh cannot tahan leh.
Wahhh.

Stupid besties gone to bali.

Waahhh. Why am i not at the NOVOKIDS party?
Cos honestly i wouldnt be able to stand the alcohol around la. Sorry guys =(.

Wahhh cannot take it i feel like such a loser ahhh.

But i went for a swim! =D.

and according to sotong head, i can sit down and drink kopi like an apek at home.

But wahhh i still feel like a loser and i want a girlfriend and i want to eat good food and not get fat.

Wahh loser loser loser.

I miss SA and i wanna get to know FA. NYEH.

Ooohhhhh prettyyyyy eyyeeee cannddyyyyy girllllllllllllllllll in nyp lololol you will never know who lolol.

okay im hungry.

Did my inner matrep suddenly broke free? NEH its for the lunchtime play which was a blast!

My minah 'gf'

WAH THE EYEBROW 'CANNOT CARRY' SIA

Makeuppers

My inner matrep

Shit i look bonch.

Kaye Nakamura

'Like Understand' (macah paham?) only this botak

FARANA (farhana) SA PREZIDENZ.

Andy WHO HASNT TOLD ME WHOS HIS GF!!!

Nicholas aka ahbeng and crazy taxi driver in the play lol.

ilham26 @ 9:51 pm
Crawls around your room
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Talked to the bestpet the other day and she was complaining of being single
and wanting to have a boyfriend.

Which made me think.
I do miss having a girlfriend i guess.
After a year plus of being single and stuff and yada yada yada.
This year hasn't really been THE year for relationships in my case.
Really miss that unlonely feeling and all that jazz.
And we always keep denying ourselves by saying that 'were still young' bla bla bla.
Oldies reading this, don't start okay.

But what i told the best pet was that, i don't think i'd find anyone who'd fit into someone whom i might like.
Yes im fickle. But girlfriends aren't really use, dont like and throw.
You can't try them out (okay i dont really believe in multi dates).
And girls nowadays are so materialistic.
Looks, cash rich, club. (this is what i think).

And honestly, i don't really care much for worldly possessions or positions.

Okay frankly speaking, i don't think there might be any girl that i might get to know...
who can tahan my religiousness.
Those who are very close to me would understand.
I mean, they (them ladies) might always find it UNCOOL in this so called 'modern society'.

Beautiful, pious, intelligent, fun and humble. Not asking for much hehe.

Though, it's funny how i long for a girlfriend.
When it's one of the things that's forbidden.
And yet when im always aiming for piousness.
Hmmm.

There's always a war going on in me.
I want to submit.
I want to submit.
I want to submit.

...but its hard.

I resign my fate into Allah's hands.
For whatever He decrees, will be decreed.
For no one can change it.
And His paradise is what we seek.
(the poet in me.NYEEHH)

I want that post really badly. REALLY REALLY BADLY!

ilham26 @ 11:48 pm
Crawls around your room
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Friday, November 14, 2008

Wake up, pray, bathe, school, eat, class, eat, drama, ngaji, home, bathe, pray, sleep.

Yes that's my daily routine nowadays.

I feel like a robot, machine, programmed in such a way.

I miss the days of hanging out, lazing around.

I miss the days of countless gigs, teh peng (though im not a teh peng fan) ordering extravaganzas.

I miss lepaking at OF or getting wasted on shisha at arab street.

Half a day at Novena food court is not enough!

I miss just hanging out, camwhoring, jokes, laughs and guitar playing.

As you can see, my days are jam packed with school, drama and religious classes.

But i dont blame these.

Alhamdulillah, im finding the modules this semester very interesting and i might actually like what I'm doing.

Drama, well of course i love drama as much or maybedefinitely more than the next guy and it's really not much of a burden (AS SOME PEOPLE WOULD STATE HINT HINT BIG HEAD).

Religious classes, of course, i would so love to double or even triple the amount that im having now if time and Allah permits.

Work, starbucks, has been sacrificed and so far, theres been no regrets.

Though i've found myself to be dangerously low...okay maybe not that drastic...on money.
BUT IVE BEEN SAVING!=D (morocco, liverpool, umrah ramadan or drivers liscence?? hmmm...)

Maybe i've not really been making the effort to call those bunch of loved monkeys to just waste our time away. Maybe at least once a week.
(or maybe at least SOME PERSON would make the same effort after the 1 hour's worth of effort ive made....nyeh [stupid pariah i wasnt merajoking la. i was texting you with my left hand while i was eating]).

We'll see what the future brings us and what Allah's willed for us insyaAllah.

ilham26 @ 5:09 pm
Crawls around your room
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Hmm so enough with the sentimentalness.

Here's whats been going on lately in my life:

Abang Baby Aka Boi vEnOM: Ko ade pasal ngan aku pe joy!?

Nyeahea.

Construction worker look...minus the smell.

I can bet that some of the nerds in NYP do look like this!

HAHAHAHA I LOOK LIKE MY DAD.

RASTAMAN.

THE MOST HORRIBLE PIC OF DIYANA EVAAAHHH!!!

Hmmm well it seems that I might be going through a personality crisis???

ilham26 @ 5:36 am
Crawls around your room
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Sunday, November 09, 2008

I got my laptop, back after so long.
So i decided to clean out lots of stuffs.
From redundant school work to photos of the past.
Just to get more space.
That's when i stumbled upon,

the ex's pic. haha

I wonder how you're doing.
All busy going through A levels now.
I totally forgot to wish you all the best.
Though im sure, in sha Allah, that you'd pass well.

We had our fun times i guess.
But whats not meant to be is just not meant to be.
Can't fight fate, though you we're purrrfect.
I hope you're doing well.

The feeling's gone for sure.
But i'll always have a soft spot for you. =)

but that was nothing compared to,

me stumbling upon the Umrah pics.

Yes it's been a month.
But I'm always being reminded of it.
Not by anyone though, by myself.
During prayer, bowing or prostrating.
During reciting the Al-Quran or supplications or Al-fatihah.
I'm always being reminded.

I really really really really really miss that place =(.
InsyAllah i'd get to go there again.
And do as much as possible.

Even with the really really strong heat, dust and dryness.
I've never felt better at any other place.

For the first time will always blind you with awe.
And you're diverted, only for a bit, from what you went there for.
No, not the second time round no.

Oh Allah.
Most Glorious, Most Merciful.
Lord of the Al-Ameen.
Please give me the opportunity to pray at your House.

Happy =)

ilham26 @ 11:58 pm
Crawls around your room
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Monday, November 03, 2008

Someone. Or in this case something. heh.

okay.

Someone asked me why was i so...generous today.
Breaking my usual norms of fickle, 'cerewet' and troublesome values and actions.
To make things easier, why do i message in the train.

Oh no no it wasn't World Be Kind To Animals Day no.

It's just that, after certain events,
i've came to realise that you're the one who's always been there.
When im being a bitch, prick, asshole and whatever vulgar adjectives you can think up of.
Even when i hurt you along the way and am too thick to realise it
or when i hurt you along the way and realise it and make it into a joke which makes things worse than before,
you're still always there.

And i've realised that.
I've not always been there for you.
That i've never really played give and take.
Or rather, not really given.

Best friends are just a title.
To me, you're more than that.
=)

though the tetek thing was really uneccessary -____-
(okay ass ive praised you enough this year)

ilham26 @ 11:31 pm
Crawls around your room
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To my friends:

Shehzhadee, Fatmah, Isa, Syarah, Ariff, Izzy, Irah, Suriani, Song Leng and Asnira and WHOEVER THAT I MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN IM SO SORRY KAY XO XO,

All the best for your A Levels kay.
You've gone through so much shit for this.
So please don't screw it up =).

ilham26 @ 12:42 am
Crawls around your room
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Saturday, November 01, 2008

HALLOWEEN NIGHT WAS OWHZAME!

MORE PIX SOON!

btw, i looked like this =

THEY CALL BE ABANG PONCHO. HAHA

ilham26 @ 11:41 pm
Crawls around your room
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I love you for reading my nonsense. Okay you can stop smiling now.