Il Ham Mai Hum

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I skipped class yesterday and i'm skipping today.
Oh naughty naughty boy.
But heck, them debarment exercise is over so what's there to worry about?

This semester has been smooth alhamdulillah.
The bulk of the projects are gone but with the common tests and exams looming around the corner,
i dont think i can take a break just yet.
But yesterday's lunchin munchin with faderloo and suck-intellectual-ah was really refreshing and totally made my week.

From the waiting for 5+ minutes for the train to amk (we should've took the bus)
then from alighting at amk and getting back on the train (to head for bishan)
reached bishan only to find out that delifrance was replaced by manhattan fish market
walked all the way to swensens to find out that we were at the back door
walked one whole round to the front of swensens only to change our minds
THE SQUEEZING OF LEMON JUICE ON MY ENTIRE FACE.
THE DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE MUDPIE BEING UNAVAILABLE
me finding out that i had a $5 MFM voucher that expires today HAHA.

Honestly (HOR-NESTLY according to one of my classmates...urgh omg the level of english -___-) , this is really one of the things that i love so much you know. Amidst all these...problems and such, which seems to be getting better of course. With PostBox @ homeclub on the 30th, David Sparkle's Texas thingy gig on the 31st (homeclub again) and Enry's birthday thingy at siloso to look forward too and of course them HOLIDAYZ.

I've been experiencing certain personal miracles, other people's miracles and seen some being tested by...'cobaan'...lately. Alhamdulillah. I can't wait for this sunday!.

I'm really in awe of my religious teachers' level of patience. Not at me but at their surroundings and all that. They always have that natural aura of calmness around them. They don't and may never let anger control them and will always pray and pray and pray. Honeslty (hor-nestly), i want to be just like them. To keep in check the temper, to not percieve people to be what i think of them to be, to not let anything affect you and to always turn to god. Its really hard but possible i guess.

Okay back to RAD.

Oh and yay! classes are ending in two weeks!
And im not talking about the workload.

ilham26 @ 10:10 am
Crawls around your room
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Friday, January 16, 2009

I can't stand it.

Its been what....more than a year.

Though each time i think about it, i feel as though that it's a stupid thing to think about.

There are a thousand and one ways to preoccupy your time.

But maybe, just maybe, i don't want those ways?

Two heads are better than one.

Now i long for the other one.

I made mistakes before.

I lied to myself and to the one affected.

I lied to myself.

2009's supposed to be better?

On the other had, it's the religious factor.

I don't know what to do.

I am at odds with myself.

I need, i want that shoulder of support, warm embrace, sweet voice and soothing sight.

But....where are you?

ilham26 @ 3:46 am
Crawls around your room
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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bloggers block. Bloggers block.

I want to go on a vacation. Bad.

ilham26 @ 5:08 pm
Crawls around your room
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Monday, January 12, 2009

I feel that we're all just commonly, secretly and unknowingly hypocrites.

Either that, or we just have a mutual, psychic understanding of not bringing up current 'hot topics' and end up fighting, arguing and spoiling the evening.

Just to point out, we're not mad, we do care, but we are just bored and don't see the point of it anymore.

So we're just trying to adopt a let-you-be-on-your-own-and-see-what-happens-then kind of tactic here.

And yes, maybe we should all just shut up and stop being hypocrites. Ill be the first.

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(hahaha arabian belly dancers haha)....Why are you so busy girl? I miss talking to you man.

Hmm....what happened to the thick pig skinned keling pariah that i know?

Maybe its the tonnes of free time that makes things get into your head.

But why the increased sensitivity these days? Why i am that open with you is because i thought we were that close huh. Now even the tiniest things i say, you'd go all taken aback.

Frankly, do you really want me to but up a nice barrier and be all fake.

Get a job la. So you wont think so much about this stuff.

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I should write up a list of stuff that i need/want to buy.

Acoustic guitar - $500
Driving lessons fees - $500 (estimated?)
Hair growing pillz - $ 33
Hair vitaminz - $ 16
New shirtz andz bottomz - $200 ++?
Facial washz - $ 50

Oh gosh am i that vain?

But the thing that i want most right now is....free time. =(

and girlfriend.....heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheeee.....=D

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OpenHouse 2009 was great! (except for the stupid stage)

We act you mar frackas.

ilham26 @ 9:22 am
Crawls around your room
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Sunday, January 04, 2009

I want to spend time with...you

and you

and you

and you

not you

oh and definitely you.

ilham26 @ 12:19 pm
Crawls around your room
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Friday, January 02, 2009

I always switch on Al-Quran recitations by Sheik Abdur Rahman Al-Sudais (thanks mom for buying the thingy when you went to hajj, i think).

How i wish i can recite it like him. Perfect, pinpoint tajwid without all the over-emphasised 'dengungs' and all that stuff. And at a pace that makes listening just right.

I mean, im not criticising the rest la but everyone has personal preferences. From music to Al-Quran recitations too. Some are just too slow and too monotone for me i guess.

But that doesn't take away the feeling of reciting it yourself while knowing that you're reciting it properly. It's a heavy task and test and so far ive been dragging along. But insyallah with added interest and perseverence, i'd manage to get thru that and continue.

And who knows, one day i might go all Hafiz and memorise every single huruf in the Al Quran.

Insyallah one day.

This also brings me to me missing Mecca and Madinah alot. Doing the rights of pilgrimmage and being in a constant mood to just pray, worship and supplicate.

Oh call me weird but I love my religion and am not a person to hide it.

Though at the same time, i'm still a teenager, dealing with hormones, girls and a very secular and open society so me flouting them rules are quite the norm. But that's between me and Allah the Exhalted. So you take care of your cheesefries and ill eat mine aight. =)

I really really want to go do umrah again or even Haji. Some of the Umrah gang would be going again this year and it falls during my holidays but i think id be doing my fyp, thus...no time =(.

But who knows, insyallah after graduating or NS, id find the time and money to do the Hajj this time. Oh how glorious would it be.

Well, everyday is a self jihad and so far...ive been in the middle.

This post is more of a self reassurance....or me talking to myself. But feel free to read or comment la okay =)

One for the eyez. Masjid Nabawwi.=) (its so much bigger than this la of course)

ilham26 @ 11:52 pm
Crawls around your room
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Am i.

really.

selfish?

=(.

ilham26 @ 2:08 am
Crawls around your room
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I love you for reading my nonsense. Okay you can stop smiling now.