Il Ham Mai Hum

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I'm having an absolute dilemma...Well, a dilemma usually means split between two choices but in my case, it's 12. Not having a solid goal on what you want to do in the future is a very bad thing. Being spoon-fed for 10 years during the primary and secondary educations aren't much help either. As for now, i have to choose my polytechnic course and it has been giving me more headaches (and pimples) than my extreme anticipation for my results or the stress that comes with taking the exams.

I went around to SP, NP and NYP today. I dragged Carol along so i wont be alone. I want to apologise to my parents for being such an asshole of a son and not ask them along but i wanted to do this solely on my own and without my parents to ask around unnecessary questions. It wasn't a case of being paiseh that i am out with parents. I love them and i would really want them to be involved in the choosing of my courses but i wanted to do this on my own for once. I wanted to try being independent and not be spoon-fed again like i am so used to.

The SP JAE thingy. JAE thingy are the auditoriums and such. The displays and the presentations. I would cut it down to a simple, short and sweet phrase 'JAE thingy'. Such is my love for the word 'thingy'. Well SP was really impressive apart from the 2 other polys i went to. They had thick, detailed prospectors and their lecturers really had the know how of the goings on in each course. The booths and the area set aside for the JAE thingy were really good.
Well maybe enough of that.

I do not know my aim. What i want to be. I know i like language, hence my A1 in eng and good grades in combined humans but unfortunately for my horrendous marks in my L1 R2B2, I have no chance of going to the Mass com courses in both SP and NP through the JAE. I would like to try out for the NP mass com course through special admission but the NP campus and facilities are not really my cup of teh tarik. I prefer NYP's campus. Eventhough its like 62577265882852386988236865872168756812687562187 thousand metres from my home, i still feel a sort of welcoming aura when i went there.

I have until Wednesday to submit my application and i would be having a long tough discussion with my father tomorrow. I really dont mind the polytechnic that i end up going as long as i am comfortable with the campus and happy with the course i am given. All except RP. I have heard too many unhappy stories and experiences about there.

I would just like one more chance to restart my education life. I have played and fooled around too much during my secondary school years and i plan to start again. I will still have a social outgoing life but at the same time, not fool around as i did in secondary school. Like my parents' undying emphasis; teachers would not be coming after me, calling them up and all the other hooblah surrounding the secondary years. More to the adulthood side of education.
I do believe i'm ready. But i am still not convinced of an ideal course for me that i can get into. Only time will tell...

A lot of my single friends have been emo and mostly due to this valentines day coming up. Valentines to me is just and excuse of getting intimate with one another, an excuse for seeing couples in the streets making out and an excuse of getting really good chocolates at a cheap price (my bad on this one =D ). This is a purely western idea that has slowly been integrated into our eastern cultural preference. I am neither a traditionalist nor a modernist but the marketing of valentines day is really starting to affect the people i care about. And it's really starting to irritate me.

And congratulations to Cranny Mum the Fat Rat for getting the job she wanted so badly. =).

ilham26 @ 2:09 am
Crawls around your room
------------

I love you for reading my nonsense. Okay you can stop smiling now.