Wednesday, April 01, 2009
What happened to the ilham of last time?
Since when did arrogance, egoism and being an asshole creep into my life.
But the ironic thing is that, i see it happening.
It's like being trapped in your own body, knowing your actions, wanting to do something about it.
But you cant, or rather, you wont.
Why?
What happened to the patience.
Did it just leave?
Did it get sick of the soul it was present in?
What happened to the strive to be nice?
What happened to the forgiving and forgetting.
What is with the grudges nowadays?
Arent you supposed to grow better and wiser when you grown older?
So, what happened?
Another ironic thing is that i talk about Islam.
Islam, Islam, Islam.
The religion that teaches, emphasises and to an extent, forces good manners upon you.
The religion that teaches that if you were to gossip about your friends, it's like eating each other's corpses.
The religion that teaches that if you hold grudges, the forgiveness you seek would be put on hold.
The religion which clearly states that good behaviour trumps other aspects of worship and it's the one that god loves most.
I stared into the eyes of patience.
Or rather, was given a chance to be.
And what? I carried on, stubborn, when i know that i am actually in the wrong.
The change on their faces. From just advising to...being angry?
It still haunts me.
What happened to the old me.
One who prides himself with being nice.
Yeah to the people who says it's....kental?
Fuck you.
When will i change again.
When will the old me return.
It's not exactly little miss sunshine living in this shit.
And the sad part is..
I needed to read a bloody blog post to realise.
ilham26 @ 8:48 am
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